Hello,
My name is Amanda and like you, I am living with grief. Two years out and here's something I have learned. There is a strange cruelty to grief in the way it refuses to move in a straight line. One day, you may feel yourself breathing more easily again.
You laugh without forcing it. You carry their memory softly instead of like shattered glass. And then, without warning, the next day brings you to your knees over a song, a scent, something they once said. It can feel as though all progress has been lost.
As though you've gone way back to the rawness of early loss. But you have not. Grief moves like the tide beneath the surface — an undercurrent carrying us forward even when we believe ourselves stranded in the same place. We do not always feel the motion.
Sometimes we even resist it, because moving forward can feel perilously close to leaving them behind. But love does not work that way. The people we lose do not dwell only in our sorrow. They live also in our laughter, our habits, our gentleness, our stories.
They remain in the happy memories that rise unexpectedly and sit beside us for a while like old companions. And when we revisit those memories — when we speak of them, think of them, carry them carefully through the years — we preserve something sacred: the pure and ordinary love that existed between us. Not frozen.
Not untouched by loss. But enduring. Memory becomes its own kind of path. A glance.
A shared joke remembered. The echo of their voice. The warmth of who they were to us. Each one scatters petals of love before our feet, and though nobody else can see the trail clearly, our heart knows how to follow it.
So if today feels heavier again, it does not mean you are failing, or forgetting. It only means you are still loving someone who mattered deeply. And that love is still carrying you, even now.
Let yourself feel the grief when you need to. Without fear, embarrassment or explanation. Let it bubble to the surface and over the edges, because in its wake, the
love remains. The love always remains.
As unlikely as it seems some days, you will survive this loss, learn to live differently and carry the love forward in your heart. I know, because I too have loved and lost. And so today, I am sending love, from my heart to yours. I hope it might help.